Hi all, yup i know some people are bugging me to blog.. so i will ok!

My life for the past few months has been a long and painful journey and i appericate the people who loves me and concern for me! I thank one person who showed me a good time when we are attached but sadly we didnt last. I am being a bastard that i use you as a rebound but my love for you never change.. Since you decide to move on i will too!

I ended a friendship too, with a good friend cause i really feel that we cant work things out anymore and whatever i am trying to do i am always wrong! I really miss those times but i just think is times up! I hope you really see what i really meant! And hope you are happy! I am no longer going to feel pain :D the pain where you can never understand!

Quote for everyone: If he/she is stupid to leave you, you should be smart enought to let her/him go!
Nights everyone!

I got alot of pain and help from alot of people this month and i am gratefull, i want to thank all my friends and my family... tomorrow i have camp and at the 23 dec is my performance and i am worried... Haven been practicing much! I think 28 going overseas again hope it might be the last... It really tiring! But as long that person is fine i am glad ahaha! I can work better now:D Ok going home now bye bye people AHHA SEE YOU ALL SOON...

I dont know i have a bad feeling today! Just so worried for someone hope that person is having fun.. Going overseas next week, hope it works:D ahaha Getting better each day but very worried hope that person can get back to me soon! Why dont i feel this way sooner sigh... i just have to prove the worth by time bah! I going to sleep now nights blog! and sweet dreams!

I need to go to a rehab, feeling lonely today, and abit worried i dont know why i am worried at all, but i have always been when comes to the person that i love stays late outside, maybe it wasnt noticed...but what to do i cant do anything about it i am really stuck! I shouldnt have seen that drug and fallen in love with the drug!

Its been days i have paid any attention to it but its like i cant, in my heart is aching and i wanted to cry inside! Everytime i woke up i cant go back to sleep, it's been a month now and i have suffered and i have to kick the habit.. i talked to myself i cant talked about the past anymore, i cant be compasssionate at all now, cause when i took the drug it was heartless enough to hurt me more than it bring me joy! I have thought for the drug and i started to forgive cause i use to love it and i understand what is the going on, but does the drug thought for me or just thought of itself as a sweet that brings joy! The person who loves the drug speak good things! People who know the true colors of the drug hates it.... i still love the drug, it's foolish love, i dont need to treassure the drug since it hurted me, but i want it to know its wrong to hurt people this way... Saying things that oh i am sweet try me after that oh to bad you got the worst out of me... Trying to lie to oneself can never give you the truth about yourself or hide from anyone else!

Thats nothing to forgive if there is no gulit inside, Covering and telling yourself that it brings joy to people will not work... Cause as much as you try you are still a Drug! So admit it and then learn from it, that's my final gift to you! If i dont love you i will leave you and let you ROT and you know i cant let you be like this,thats why i scold!

(The day you fallen for someone else is the day you cheated!)
(I really tried to support you but you dont want!, what can i do now?)

Hi peeps!

Sorry didnt update for very long time, i was MIA for the past whole two months. First i went to Genting highlands around May 12 i think and got back at erm May 15 and so after a few days after the trip my mom send me to Thailand to do praying.. and Wow lots of stuff to tell but i cant update now no Pics haha!

Well i miss my friends alot even through i saw them like not long ago.. I FEEL Lonely, like am i the only one on earth. Not sure why? People and Friends i care the most are always away from me i just dont know why? its not like i didnt try my best to make them happy when ever they are with me. I tend to ask question with I, I did try my best, Did I do anything wrong, I know i did the right thing.

But all this wasnt selfless thoughts of I, ME, MUA. Its simply saying one person makes a big differents. If i cant make my friends happy with me, it makes me feel sad and mainly its my fault that i always felt. i not sure, i guess i just trying to hard i guess. even i want to meet up with old friends its like a magnet repells each other away... Not sure why? tell me some one am i the one should be changing even more or just me should be deletled away from this world.
(P.S this is a problems i face and i am in a really bad shape! help if you can :D)

Hi Peps!

Sigh, this few days i am running here and there like crazy! Sian collecting medication, Tutoring, meeting friends.. And the worst thing i am paying Adult Fare... (@_@).

Lols Fainting, and soon i am moving to my Dad's house to stay soon due to the Chinese Phase: "A hill cannot have two tigers" I am one tiger and the second one is my MOTHER! I tried talking to her nicely but she have to roar the whole house down.. really tired and stress i really cant take it any more.. sigh!!!!!!!

Oh any way last Friday was really Fun, went out with David, Hong Yuan, Nigel, Xian Yong including his friends and my friend Nick Chin.. We were all playing L4D
(Xian Yong and Friends Vs Dav, Hong, Nigel, Chin and Me).
We were like very feirce with our attacks lols was a very good Game! And sorry Xian Bro could not go out with ya after LAN need to be back home..T.T

To Troubled and confused peeps out there!:

Well all i got to say is that your heart is Beating, when its hurt or Harmed it will not be the same and you will feel so dead like a leaf falling to the ground. Shocked and stun thats when it stops for a while.. Soon everyone to you is invisible, and life is all about you ,yourself and no one else... So just Give up! Give in to Life, its Life! Destinity and Fate are arranged!

But...

Aren't we Human! Living beings able to move and learn. Able to face obstacles, with Soul and Knowledge! I know that I am not alone! I have Love ones my Family and my friends. Its my Life i chose how to Live my Life! And Destinity And Fate are arranged? Yes by me and only me to arrange, with the help of my Love ones! And givng up? With LIFE or MYSELF? Only YOU! have the Answer!


Ok peeps! that all hope it helps ya...
See you all soon byes! ^^

Tag reply!
xian yong: hi vist me more ok haha!
Darling Girl Steph: Sure sure you plain ok heheh ( evil laugh) :D..

Hey Peeps!

Wow i have not sleep for one whole day because one thing on my mind that i had yesterday was..
Telematch.. wa i tell you guys its really stress to sleep for every two mins and keep reminding yourself TELEMATCH!..TELEMATCH!..TELEMATCH!..

I am seriously stress la.. haha anyway i and david went to help out yesterday's Telematch and as always we try our best and give our all but it wasnt good enough and EIT manage to get third... Sigh dissapointing but hey, at least i know i gave my all and did not hold back i was ok with it .. But it wasnt easy for some other BL friends to get over it as its a big Blow for them....

So after that we went to disstress ourselves by going to safria to play pool.. ahha it was fun and went for dinner and rush back to david house to watch "Ping Pang Yuan" lols..
( By the way i have been staying David's house for like 3 weeks >.<)

To my Dear BLs
I like to nag! but why? Cause i want all of you to be better than me, better than other leaders, i want you all to be the best but not the worst. We seniors have tried our best have you? Have you all tried your fulliest.. That you all will not regret trying to be the best! well overall i want to say thank you to you all who help out.. thank you very much... and Good luck for up coming Exams! Loves!!

Ok thats all Peeps nights! opps i mean morning!